Christmas goes hand in hand with the season of forgiving. Out with the old angst and hurts and in with the new beginnings of hope, faith and love. But sometimes, we also find it hard to forgive. It’s so much easier to say “If Jesus can forgive, why can’t you?” but it is easier said than done. You got to remember, Jesus is not an ordinary man but the Son of God while we are human. When does it become extremely hurtful that we choose to NOT forgive? We ignore and become aloof. We let one’s self be on the way to move on and not look back on the yesterdays.
I was a Papa’s girl. But that did not mean there was a perfect father and daughter relationship. We also had our share of misgivings and shortcomings. There was a time when we would have an exchange of words. We were full of angry feelings. Maybe it was also because it was so painful and we were not able to handle grief that well. But when Papa was nearing his twilight year, that is when we were able to speak more of words of love than hurtful words.
As Papa sat quietly on his chair, I said to Papa: “I’m sorry.” Peace enveloped us. No drama. No other words were uttered but peace and quietness transpired between us. That’s when I knew right then and there that we already came into complete terms of having forgiven each other.
The first Christmas without Papa that year was not as hard as I thought it would be. There was an extreme loss. But there was also the feeling of at ease that in his last moments, we were able to heal and forgive.
CHOOSE TO FORGIVE
Did you know why Christmas is called the season of forgiveness? Because our Lord and Savior, the Messiah Jesus Christ was crucified for mankind’s sins to be forgiven. As we celebrate the birth of Christ, it reminds us also in choosing to forgive.
Quite often when couples have quarrels (LQ Lover’s Quarrel), they choose to love and forgive on Christmas Day. Amidst the festivities, we share the most important element in time: Love. You see couples rekindle their relationship, to save what still remains of their love. There are brothers and sisters who have longstanding family feud beginning to speak to each other again.
Greater Good Science Based Insights for a Meaningful Life talks about forgiveness. “Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.”
But it should be noted that forgiveness does not mean forgetting nor condone their excuses for the offense they have inflicted on you. Although it is possible that it can heal and fix a relationship, but in another point of view, you are not obligated to reconcile to those who have hurt you nor excused from their legal accountability.
MAGIC IN HEALING WORDS
I was doing volunteer work at one of the well-known arts and entertainment venues in the country. It was Christmas season. Little did I know I would run into somebody at the hallway. I recognized him. He did not know who I was but I knew who he was. The guy was a big rival of my demised brother. At a time when I was arranging my brother’s stuff, I came to a letter that was written by that guy.
What I found touching was that my brother kept his letter. Instead of having thrown it out or burnt to not have that painful reminder, he kept it. I knew then that no matter how hurtful it was, it still meant a lot to my brother that the guy wanted to make amends no matter their differences.
As I looked at him at the hallway, all I could think of was: “I forgive you.” Not that he was asking for forgiveness but I just knew that my brother would be at peace in knowing that I was able to forgive one of his greatest rivals. After that, I ran into him a few times at the park. But I was at peace myself upon seeing that God has given me all those chances to see my brother’s rival, yet I found peace in my heart and not anger nor hurt.
There is magic in hearing the healing words when somebody says: “I’m sorry.” Forgiveness can bring peace of mind to the one who forgives, and your anger dissipates. May the act of forgiveness not only be at the time of Christ’s birth nor only for a season but also the reason for living, the meaning behind loving which is the act of kindness and forgiveness.
