The author of the House bill seeking to legalize absolute divorce in the Philippines says it will offer spouses trapped in unhappy and irreparable marriages an option to become happy again. How do you see this?
House bill No. 9349, known otherwise as Absolute Divorce Act is a violation of the law. Article 2, section 12 of our Constitution says: “The State recognizes the sanctity of family life and shall protect and strengthen the family as a basic autonomous social institution.”
In the first chapter of the Family Code of the Philippines, Article 1 states: “Marriage is a special contract of permanent union between a man and a woman” and “the family is an inviolable social institution.”
The bill does not guarantee the resolution of difficult marital problems; it will rather worsen the situation. It is not even an assurance of happiness after divorce. And if the couple ever remarries, they will most likely encounter the same problems in their previous marriage.
The best solution to a difficult marriage is not divorce. The solution is to address the core issue causing the problem. It is best to seek professional help. See a marriage counselor, join the Christian Family Movement, or the Marriage Encounter in the parish.
There is no such thing as an irreparable marriage if the couple allows God to help them fix their problems. A God-centered marriage can rise above all the challenges.
The bill offers liberation of wives who are physically abused. What can you say about this?
I agree the wife has to be protected from all forms of domestic violence. Divorce is not an assurance that physical abuse will not happen in a re-married life. If the husband remarries, he will likely physically abuse his new wife. Divorce will only allow the abusive husband to multiply his victims. An abusive person is psychologically sick; professional intervention is needed to stop him from hurting others.
I wish our lawmakers will focus more on measures that will protect the family, not destroy it. I think there should be government programs that will assist couples with marital problems. The government can motivate marriage by offering incentives or recognitions to couples who reach 25 years and 50 years of marriage.
Saint Monica went through a difficult marriage. Her husband was abusive. She also had a problematic son. Her mother-in-law made her life miserable. But she rose above all this. She prayed day and night. She made sacrifices. Her prayers led to the conversion of her husband, son (Saint Augustine), and mother-in-law.
In marriage life, there are times when the couple is invited to offer sacrifices for the good of the family. Instead of getting divorced, understand first the dynamics of the abusive behavior of the partner. Who knows, your love may liberate and heal the abuser.
If signed into law, what are your fears about divorce?
There will be no stability in marriage. The marriage vows will become a mere lip service. The family, which is the basic unit of society and is also called a domestic church, can easily disintegrate. The breakdown of family can make the society weak. Moral and social problems will arise. The cases of sexually transmitted diseases may also rise as a result of remarriages.
Do you think a divorce law can be abused?
Certainly, it can be abused. According to the principal author of the House absolute divorce bill, the proceedings for the grant of absolute divorce shall be affordable, efficient, and quick. This can open floodgates to divorce. Marriage commitment can become shaky. Any party can exploit the divorce law to his or her advantage.
How can divorce impact children?
The legalization of divorce in the country will create more problems not only for the family but also for society. If families are broken, it will have adverse effects on society.
Studies show that kids from dysfunctional families are problematic; they are prone to commit crimes for lack of guidance by parents. The disruption in family life has an impact on the mental health and academic performance of the children. They have to endure stress and anxiety. They will grow up with behavioral problems because their basic psychological needs are not met. If the children are not grounded psycho-emotionally and morally, their future is at risk.
Some lawmakers are opposed to the absolute divorce bill and favor the revisit of the annulment to make it more accessible.
According to the Family Code of the Philippines, a marriage can be nullified if the spouse has a psychological incapacity, the marriage is incestuous, the marriage is against public policy, the marriage is bigamous, and when one of the spouses remarry without complying with the precordial requirement of the judgement of annulment, or absolute nullity of the previous marriage.
Annulment is a formal declaration of the nullity of marriage. This means no marriage has taken place at all right from the start due to the grounds I mentioned.
Annulment of marriage is already practiced by the Catholic church. Why is annulment acceptable in the church and divorce is not? In divorce, a valid marriage is invalidated, which is wrong because it violates the law of the church and the state. Marriage is sacred. The family is an inviolable social institution, according to the Family Code of the Philippines.
One of the grounds of annulment is psychological incapacity. It needs the expertise of either a psychiatrist or a psychologist to prove it. The judicial process is long, which is why it is expensive.
In the Catholic Church, the process is simple. In a marriage tribunal, the procedural rules are less time-consuming and more accessible. There is what is called a documentary process. The marriage can be proven invalid by presenting documents, like a birth certificate, to prove that one of the contracting parties is a minor and does not have the consent of the parents or an existing certificate of a previous marriage that was not yet nullified. Only one of the grounds for nullity is required to grant the petition. For those who are financially challenged, the annulment can even be granted free of charge.
Unfortunately, the Church’s declaration of canonical nullity is not valid in civil law. We appeal to our lawmakers to recognize the annulment of marriages granted by the Church as valid in civil law. This will benefit the couples who seek annulment because the process is short and the cost is not expensive.
Instead of legalizing divorce, what do you think is the best the government can do to help marriages facing challenges?
It is the duty of the government to protect and strengthen the family. Before the couple reaches the “game-over” stage, the government must provide assistance in resolving difficult marriages. Marriage counselling centers should be accessible in the barangays–the social welfare department can be empowered for this task. In most cases, one of the causes of marital problems is financial difficulties. The government should generate more jobs. The government and the church can collaborate to address marital problems.
The Department of Education can integrate into the school curriculum the instruction to children to value the virtue of modesty and proper sex education, the correct understanding of love, and that lust is not love.
Lust is a debasement of love. Pope Francis, in his Apostolic Exhortation Amoris Laetitia, warns us about the culture of the ephemeral: the speed with which people move from one affective relationship to another. The young believe, along the lines of social networks, that love can be connected or disconnected at the whim of the consumer, and the relationship is quickly “blocked.” Affective relationships have become disposable. This kind of culture has to stop.
Marriage is sacred: it is a permanent commitment. Educate the young on the rights and duties of spouses.
