Over the years, Altez’s insights on marriage and family relationships have reached audiences beyond the counseling setting. She has been invited to share her perspective in various television and radio programs, where she discusses common marital struggles and ways couples can rebuild trust. She is also the author of the e-book Love for All Reasons, Love for All Seasons, which reflects her advocacy for lasting and faith-centered relationships.
From 2010 to 2019, she appeared in several programs on DZMM Teleradyo, including Sakto and Todo Todo Walang Preno, and once guested on ABS-CBN’s Buzz ng Bayan hosted by Boy Abunda. She also joined discussions on GMA7 and DZBB programs, including Personalan with Ali Sotto.
Even after the closure of ABS-CBN in 2020 during the early months of the pandemic, media outlets continued to seek her perspective. In recent years, she has appeared in programs such as Usap Tayo on DZBB, Radyo Pilipino, and Kada Umaga on NET25, where she continues to speak about strengthening marriages and helping families navigate difficult times.
Altez, founder of the Voice in the Storm Counseling Advocacy, has spent years listening to couples whose marriages have been shaken by betrayal, financial struggles, and emotional neglect. Among the many issues she encounters, one concern appears again and again: infidelity.
“Cheating has become one of the most painful and common problems couples face today,” she says. “And many times, it doesn’t start with physical betrayal. It begins with emotional distance.”
THE CHANGING FACE OF INFIDELITY
Infidelity is not a new problem in marriage, but Altez observes that its patterns have changed with time. In the past, affairs often required physical proximity or secret meetings. Today, connections can begin quietly through social media, messaging apps, or online communities. A casual conversation can evolve into emotional attachment and eventually lead to a deeper relationship outside of marriage.
“With technology, people can easily reconnect with someone they once knew or communicate privately with someone they are attracted to,” she explains. “Sometimes what starts as harmless conversation becomes something more.” Yet Altez notes that infidelity rarely appears out of nowhere. In many cases, it grows from deeper issues that couples have ignored or avoided confronting.
BREAKDOWN OF COMMUNICATION
One of the most common patterns Altez sees is the gradual breakdown of communication. “Most couples who come for counseling are those who have already stopped talking properly to each other,” she says. Arguments may become frequent, or communication may disappear altogether. One spouse withdraws emotionally while the other feels ignored or unappreciated. Over time, resentment builds.
Emotional neglect can be as damaging as open conflict. When a partner’s emotional, psychological, or even physical needs are consistently overlooked, the relationship begins to weaken. “When spouses feel unheard or neglected, they sometimes look for understanding somewhere else,” Altez explains.
To prevent this, she encourages couples to establish a simple but consistent habit early in their marriage: regular conversations about their relationship. She suggests setting aside at least one hour each week for what she calls “couple talk,” a time when husband and wife can openly discuss their concerns, goals, and feelings without distractions. “Marriage should not run on assumptions,” she says. “Couples must communicate honestly and listen to each other with respect.”
Infidelity is often only one piece of a larger puzzle. In her counseling work, Altez frequently sees marriages under strain from multiple pressures. Financial difficulties are among the most common challenges, particularly during the early years of marriage. When a household struggles to meet basic needs, stress and frustration can quickly escalate.
“When financial problems pile up, couples sometimes begin blaming each other,” she says. “Instead of working together, they turn against each other.” Family dynamics can also create tension. Disagreements with in-laws, overdependence on parents, or conflicts over household responsibilities may slowly erode harmony between spouses.
In some cases, personality traits that were overlooked during courtship emerge more clearly after marriage. Behaviors such as excessive pride, controlling tendencies, or womanizing may only become visible after the couple has already committed to building a life together.
“Sometimes during the dating stage, people ignore warning signs because they are deeply in love,” Altez says. “But those character issues eventually surface.”
THE IMPACT OF MIGRATION
Another factor affecting many Filipino families is labor migration. Thousands of Filipino parents leave home each year to work abroad, hoping to provide a better future for their children. While overseas work can offer financial stability, it also brings emotional challenges.
Long periods of separation can weaken the bond between spouses. Loneliness, homesickness, and the pressures of living apart sometimes lead to unhealthy choices. “When couples are separated for long periods, their relationship becomes vulnerable,” Altez explains.
In some cases, the spouse who remains at home becomes involved in another relationship. Financial support sent by the overseas partner may even be diverted to sustain that new relationship. The consequences can be devastating not only for the couple but also for their children. “The children are often the ones who suffer the most when the family breaks apart,” Altez says.
THE DEEP WOUND OF BETRAYAL
Few experiences in marriage are as painful as the discovery of infidelity. Altez says the emotional impact can be especially severe for spouses who have spent decades building their lives together.
“I have encountered cases where the betrayal happens after 20 or even 30 years of marriage,” she says. “For the partner who remained faithful, it can feel like their entire life has been shaken.” Many wives who come for counseling describe feelings of humiliation, anger, and deep sadness, particularly when the betrayal occurs later in life.
“Some women say, ‘I gave him the best years of my life, and now this is what happened,’” Altez recounts. The emotional pain can also trigger health problems such as anxiety, depression, and sleep disturbances. For some couples, betrayal leads directly to separation. For others, the road toward healing begins slowly.
REBUILDING BROKEN TRUST
Restoring trust after infidelity is never easy. “Trust does not return overnight,” Altez says. “It requires patience, humility, and consistent effort.” For the spouse who committed the betrayal, genuine remorse is essential. Words of apology must be accompanied by visible changes in behavior.
“The injured partner needs to see sincerity, not just hear it,” she explains. At the same time, the aggrieved spouse must be given the time and emotional space needed to process the pain. Healing may take months or even years.
One common misunderstanding, Altez says, is the expectation that forgiveness should erase the hurt immediately. “Forgiveness is a process,” she says. “Even when someone forgives, the emotional wounds may still need time to heal.” Patience from both partners is crucial if reconciliation is to succeed.
Despite the challenges couples face, Altez believes that many marriages can be strengthened through simple daily practices. Respectful communication is one of the most important. “Words can build a relationship or destroy it,” she says. “Careless or hurtful words can leave emotional scars that last for years.”
She advises couples to practice constructive communication, expressing concerns gently rather than through criticism or anger. Another important habit is maintaining affection and appreciation. “Couples should continue the small gestures that brought them together,” she says. “Kindness, surprises, and simple expressions of love keep the relationship alive.”
Setting clear priorities is also essential. While work, extended family, and social obligations may demand attention, spouses must remember that their own family comes first. “Your husband or wife should never feel like they are the last priority,” she adds.
SPIRITUAL LIFE
For Altez, spiritual life also plays a central role in sustaining marriage. She often reminds couples of a familiar saying: “The family that prays together stays together.”
Faith, she believes, provides a moral compass that helps guide couples through difficult times. It encourages humility, forgiveness, and a deeper sense of commitment. She also reflects on the biblical teaching about forgiveness–the call to forgive “seventy times seven.”
“For many couples, forgiveness is difficult because the pain feels unbearable,” she says. “But faith reminds us that healing and renewal are possible.”
CHOOSING LOVE EVERY DAY
Marriage, Altez emphasizes, is not sustained by feelings alone but by daily choices. There will inevitably be moments when one spouse feels disappointed, tired, or hurt. Yet the decision to remain committed to each other can help couples navigate even the most difficult seasons.
“Love is not only an emotion,” she says. “It is also a decision we make every day.” Many couples who seek her help initially believe their relationship is beyond repair. Yet after honest conversations, emotional validation, and renewed commitment, some decide to give their marriage another chance.
The process is rarely easy, but it can lead to deeper understanding and renewed partnership. For Altez, each reconciliation is a reminder that even broken relationships can find hope.
“As long as couples are willing to listen, forgive, and work together,” she says, “there is always a possibility for healing.” And sometimes, the first step toward rebuilding a marriage is simply learning to talk again.
